The New Year is just a few steps away – one deep breath, one big leap, and another year is behind us.
It’s a bridge I’m somehow reluctant to cross this year more than any other. I have no control over the movement of time, yet I find myself trying to plant my foot on the brakes.
The New Year is churning my soul. My spirit is urging me to move forward, to dream. Yet, there is an unsettling fear and deep-seated trepidation binding my heart. While my spirit says to trust, my flesh wavers – cowers even.
The past year was full of the unforeseen. God cut ties I believed I would be bound to forever and I felt the sever of every single heart string. He lifted anchor and moved me across uncharted waters. He removed one calling and ignited another that has stretched me so far outside my comfort zone I’m pretty sure I have my own longitude.
What’s next, Lord? Will I really be able to do what You ask of me?
While faith has been my cornerstone for so long, I have yet to master its intricacies. I’m no expert in navigating these seas. Some days, God’s presence is the very air I breathe, rooting and grounding me with tangible assurances that He is moving the tide in mighty ways. Other days, He feels invisible – far beyond the horizon, out of reach, and much too subtle for my taste.
Lord, I believe you for it, but oh, what will it look like when You’re done?
My flesh wants to tuck tail and run, but experience proves that I can’t outrun God. Those whom He calls, He pursues. My heart is firmly tethered to Him, my compass set on True North and so, I choose.
I choose God. Every single day. Whether in willingness or in reluctance I choose to believe, to trust, to reconcile my finite mind with the fact that an infinite God is working on my behalf.
I choose to believe that He is moving, providing, acting in ways unseen and should I be favored, ways He reveals with precision and perfect timing – answered prayers, promises, words and deeds that could only be orchestrated by a sovereign hand.
I choose to trust that He is knitting together all the moments and days with a plan that far exceeds this year or the next, but that is purposed for eternity – for my good mingled with His will, for a perfection I may not see in this life, but am promised in the next.
I choose to believe because it’s the choice I must make if I say I have any faith at all.
If I’m to stand fast and call myself His, then through joy, trial, hardship, and blessing I keep on believing that He is who He says He is – that He’ll do what He has promised.
It’s not easy. Oh, some days it’s so hard to believe what I cannot see. Some days wonder and longing bring an impatience that has me clawing at the curtain for a glimpse behind the promise that there is future and hope up ahead.
We can choose to trust Him because He has proven trustworthy.
I don’t know what the New Year holds, but I know Who holds the New Year. I may walk with fear and doubt and wonder over the unknown, but I walk forward in faith.
And I choose. To believe. To take Him at His word. To trust that the path ahead is marked with the footsteps of the God that has gone before. I’m not promised tomorrow, and neither are you, but we are promised that whatever tomorrow looks like, we do not walk alone.
I choose to leave the past behind and await the brand new.
God will only go where we give Him access. He’ll open doors, but we’re the ones who have to walk through them believing He’ll meet us on the other side. He’ll weave the dream, but we have to chase it.
Faith can only conquer fear if we allow it the freedom to fulfill its purpose – to take that which we cannot yet see and transform it into the testimony of all that God has done.
That is what a well-worn path of faith does.
There is a sunset on the horizon and it beckons us forward.
Another year awaits. I choose to dream brave dreams and chase after them with abandon, because He holds my dreams in His hands, He unfurls the perfectly laid out plans, and He waits to walk with me.
And I choose Him.
“This is what the Lord says – He who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters, ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell
on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?'”
Isaiah 43:16,19 NIV
**Linking up today with God-sized Dreams to celebrate their one-year birthday! Also joining with the beautiful blogging communities and the friends of my heart, Holley Gerth, Meredith Bernard, Kristin Hill Taylor, and Jennifer Dukes Lee.