When Everyone Else is Chosen

They were a group of women I admired and appreciated, even genuinely cared about. So when the recognition started and the prizes were awarded, I was smiling on the outside and clapping with the rest of the crowd.

But on the inside, I felt like a little girl in pigtails, staring down at my sneakers wondering why everyone got picked but me.

We’ve all felt the subtle tension. People are chosen, talents are spotlighted, and while we long to join in the celebration, something inside whispers, “why them and not me?”

I’ve asked that question and felt the tug-of-war deep in my heart.

“Them and not me,” left unchecked, can propel us toward bitterness, anger, and even division. Envy can creep up and in when we least expect it, and if we’re not careful it will suck all the joy out of the room, and take our heart with it.


I’m so glad to join my dear friend, Kristi Woods, as she hosts a Round Table Discussion this week on a topic that has likely impacted all of us: Envy.

I’ll be joining her, along with some of my most treasured friends in the blogging world, for an honest chat about our own battles with envy, and how we’ve tackled them. You’re invited to join us at the table. Hop on over and check it out!


You can also find these words linked up at my favorite spots: Jennifer Dukes LeeHolley GerthKristin Hill Taylor3dlessons4life, Heart Encouragement Thursday, and Arabah Joy’s Grace & Truth.

10 thoughts on “When Everyone Else is Chosen

  1. “Why them and not me?” Yep, I’ve been there, Tiffany. In my case, it was “why HER and not me?” and it was really acute during my early years of infertility. Over time, God showed me that those women who seemed to achieve so easily what I wanted so badly were living out their stories, and I was living out mine. What happened to them had nothing to do with what He was doing with, in and for me. I wouldn’t say I NEVER struggle with envy now, but I live with two lovely reminders of how God’s plans are for our good, and that has definitely helped with my contentment in other areas of my life. I love that you are part of this panel, my friend!

    1. So good, Lois! I love how God has cultivated a spirit of gratitude in you and an appreciation for the unique plan He’s written, and is writing, over your life. What a wonderful legacy to give your girls. Love you, friend.

  2. I loved reading your thoughts on this and the thoughts of the other writers. Thank you for being so honest. That is not easy to do, but so necessary to share our own testimony for the benefit of others.

    1. Thank you, Cheryl. It’s not easy, but confessing and cleansing rarely are, right?! The results though, those are always better than we ever imagined. Thanks for joining us at the table!

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