I used to be a table dancer.
And before your imagination conjures up a bar top, smoke-tinged air, and an exotic beat, let me assure you, it’s not all that.
Eager to spread my 20-year-old wings in the world, I found myself in my best friend’s college dorm room, surrounded by several handsome onlookers. It was either boredom or a singular moment of inhibition that propelled me atop the table to show off my best rendition of “The Gidget Dance” from a before-my-time sitcom. Sweet, right? Or not.
Let me clarify – I once danced on a table.
It was a rather harmless moment that will live in infamy, but one ENTIRELY outside my personality. I was a good girl. A play-it-safe, rule-following, people-pleasing, young thing. So when one of those handsome fellows, clearly captivated by my dance moves, invited me to church and introduced me to Jesus, it seemed a match made in heaven.
My Type-A personality and logical reasoning quickly concluded that when good girl meets great God, happily ever after ensues. And for a while, that served me fine.
But God wasn’t after my happy, He was after my heart.
I spent a lot of years sitting in pews scanning the church landscape for the perfect Christian women. Like a sponge I soaked up patterns of faith, placing people on pedestals and striving to emulate the proper prayer, the humble heart, the quietly submissive, cookie-cutter woman of faith.
Those years were spent volleying between guilt for failing to be “her” and a warped self-satisfaction for having achieved some form of success. I’m not sure which is worse. People make very poor idols, and they inevitably fall. So would I.
God showed me the problem with being good: I wasn’t.
I’d love for you to join me over at iBelieve.com to read the rest of this post and learn what it really means to be a “good Christian girl.”
You can also find these words linked up at my favorite spots: Holly Barrett (#testimonytuesday), Jennifer Dukes Lee (#tellhisstory), Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), and Kristin Hill Taylor (#threewordwednesday).
Photo Credit: wallpaperology.com