Rewriting the Rules for the “Good Christian Girl.”

I used to be a table dancer.

And before your imagination conjures up a bar top, smoke-tinged air, and an exotic beat, let me assure you, it’s not all that.

Eager to spread my 20-year-old wings in the world, I found myself in my best friend’s college dorm room, surrounded by several handsome onlookers. It was either boredom or a singular moment of inhibition that propelled me atop the table to show off my best rendition of “The Gidget Dance” from a before-my-time sitcom. Sweet, right? Or not.

Let me clarify – I once danced on a table.

It was a rather harmless moment that will live in infamy, but one ENTIRELY outside my personality. I was a good girl. A play-it-safe, rule-following, people-pleasing, young thing. So when one of those handsome fellows, clearly captivated by my dance moves, invited me to church and introduced me to Jesus, it seemed a match made in heaven.

My Type-A personality and logical reasoning quickly concluded that when good girl meets great God, happily ever after ensues. And for a while, that served me fine.


But God wasn’t after my happy, He was after my heart.

I spent a lot of years sitting in pews scanning the church landscape for the perfect Christian women. Like a sponge I soaked up patterns of faith, placing people on pedestals and striving to emulate the proper prayer, the humble heart, the quietly submissive, cookie-cutter woman of faith.

Those years were spent volleying between guilt for failing to be “her” and a warped self-satisfaction for having achieved some form of success. I’m not sure which is worse. People make very poor idols, and they inevitably fall. So would I.

God showed me the problem with being good: I wasn’t.

I’d love for you to join me over at to read the rest of this post and learn what it really means to be a “good Christian girl.” 

You can also find these words linked up at my favorite spots:  Holly Barrett (#testimonytuesday), Jennifer Dukes Lee (#tellhisstory)Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), and Kristin Hill Taylor (#threewordwednesday).

Photo Credit:

Rewriting the Rules

13 thoughts on “Rewriting the Rules for the “Good Christian Girl.”

  1. I am your neighbor over at #TellHisStory, and in the comment section of Valerie Sisco’s post. :) I love your thoughts here: “Jesus rewrites our ideas of good and inserts grace – forgiveness, broad space, and sweet freedom. That freedom was purchased at a very high price.” Even though I am a 50-something & long past the age of being a “good girl” I am still learning some of these very same lessons. It has been a continuous process for me over the years, and I am so thankful that you were open and honest to share your heart! –Blessings to you!

    1. Hi Bettie…so glad you visited today. I think we can fall prey to the “good girl” stigma at any age. At 41 I still have to constantly remind myself of God’s freedom and grace. It’s a process, you are right, and one the enemy would very much like to sabotage. So glad you joined the conversation. Blessings back to you. 💛

  2. funny how we set up a false image of what we are supposed to be and then condemn ourselves when we cannot attain what God never intended for us to be, isn’t it? Thank God that He does the work to make us into His image as we submit to Him.

  3. Tiffany, I LOVE this: “No one can do what God has called us to like we can. The girl next door has her own race to run.” Wonderful post … I’m still smiling about the whole table-dancing thing. :-)

  4. Your post evoked some deep emotions for me Tiffany which I shared on the other site. I am thankful and blessed from the dating of two incredible “good christian ladies”. They have impacted my life forevermore. Blessings to you and yours!

    1. Thank you for your comment, Horace. How precious to have crossed paths with Christian women who left you with such lasting memories. Thanks for being here…and at iBelieve.

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