On Learning to Trust Again

Life has been happening in this neck of the woods and laying down fresh words felt like a reach. Perhaps it’s because God needed me to revisit and remember these words from last year. This is from the archives—maybe someone else needs it too. ♥

Do you remember the first time you heard you had an enemy? You were cautioned to be on guard for your adversary prowls ready to devour truth. When we are tempted by lies and driven toward wrong we are taught to raise arms against the devil.

Perhaps that’s why I didn’t see this attack coming. There wasn’t any warning. No alarm bells rang. The pursuit didn’t involve pitchforks and fire.

I was looking over my shoulder for the devil, but I was wounded by friendly fire.

When hurt radiates from the place your heart has been anchored, you find yourself in the middle of the sea on a sinking ship. One moment your foundation is sure and the next you’re clamoring for the life raft questioning if the hand reaching out wants to draw you to safety or shove you under.

Trust takes a beating when your safe place feels like enemy territory.

Confusion quickly replaces logic. Your heart longs for understanding, but the facts that stretch out before you only prove to deepen and widen your wounds.

How do you learn to trust again?

On Learning to Trust Again {www.simplyforone.net} http://wp.me/p2v8DX-Ay

With infinite wisdom and tender grace, God has traveled the road before me to bring perspective and offer healing. If what I’ve endured brings any measure of comfort to my sojourners, I offer these nuggets of wisdom to you:

  • You may never understand.

Do you know what I want? I want justice–oceans of it. I want fairness–rivers of it.
That’s what I want. That’s all I want.
Amos 5:24 MSG

We serve a just God. So when our hearts are fixed on Him we long for that same pattern. When our hurt stems from people or places whom we believe pursue that same righteousness, it can be hard to reconcile the wrong. But, justice and fairness isn’t in our hands—or our grip on our [perceived] enemies would tighten. Knowledge is not likely to heal your wounds, but God can. He does not owe us explanations and often it is with great grace that He conceals His purposes.

God’s purpose is not to inform, but transform. (←Click to tweet)

  • Choose council wisely.

In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free…
what can mere people do to me?
Psalm 118:5-6 NLT

While you are working on trust, pursue wisdom. God and His word are the first and foremost source—He hears our cries. But often our cry is for trusted companions to come alongside us. Our tendency, especially after friendly fire, is to assume that everyone has an ulterior motive. It’s okay to be guarded, but walls are meant to keep people out, and you don’t need to travel this journey alone. In your tender and vulnerable state, choose people who will direct you toward God, not draw you further away. You will know them by their spirit of grace and love that exceeds your pain.

  • Point your voice in the right direction.

“The heart cry of justice is a longing to be heard.”
Chris Jackson

When our pain is unexpected and comes from trusted sources, we often can’t resolve it in our own minds. Our longing to be accepted and understood has been damaged. So it’s only natural for us to want others to validate our feelings. However, when our desire is to honor God, we must be cautious to not further damage His Kingdom. Our goal should be to spare others, not cause them to stumble over, our pain.

  • This journey won’t be easy.

You joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew
that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.
Hebrews 10:34 ESV

You might feel like you’ve been stripped of all value and worth, but your treasure is to come. There is far-reaching fruit that blossoms from the seeds of pain. God plants those seeds one at time and growth does not happen overnight; neither does healing. In the same way that you need to be surrounded by grace, you need to extend it to yourself. Don’t strive for every inch of growth, but simply lean into the process. God is weaving good out of bad. There will be beauty from the ashes.

  • They are sinners, just like me.

“Whatever is written in these scriptures is not what God says about others, but to us…
it’s clear enough isn’t it, that we’re sinners, every one of us.”
Romans 3:19 MSG

This step can be the most arduous to travel. We are all dealt the blow of flesh; we are all sinners. What sets us apart is our response to our offenses. Will we humble ourselves before God?

While God tells us to lavish forgiveness as generously as it has been given to us, He doesn’t place a timetable on that process. But, don’t grow stagnant in this phase of your journey. Don’t linger in bitterness and anger, but allow God to move you toward healing, restoration even. There will be scars (healed wounds) of this battle etched across your life, but forgiveness will set you free to live life fully. And as you do, allow those markers to remind you to never leave those scars on the life of another.

The journey toward trust cannot be over-simplified, and that isn’t my intent here. But this I know…when confusion and chaos seem to reign, when you aren’t sure who is true and good, when the hurt feels deep and healing feels far off…TRUST GOD. Follow hard after Him and someday you won’t have to question the pain or the long-enduring journey, you’ll get to see why.

You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by.
Job 11:16 NIV

You can also find these words linked up at my favorite spots: Jennifer Dukes Lee (#tellhisstory)Holley Gerth (#coffeeforyourheart), Bonnie Gray (#onewordcoffee), and Kristin Hill Taylor (#threewordwednesday).

On Learning to Trust Again - Wisdom from God's word. {www.simplyforone.net} http://wp.me/p2v8DX-Ay
On Learning to Trust Again {www.simplyforone.net} http://wp.me/p2v8DX-Ay

29 thoughts on “On Learning to Trust Again

  1. That friendly fire certainly hurts. But with God we can overcome it. I’m grateful that He’s bigger than all the problems in this world. I’m glad you went to the archives – this is an encouraging post. I’m always glad to see you at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    1. Friend – for some reason your comments don’t pop up in my WordPress app. I’m going to have to look into that because I love hearing from you. So weeks later, I’m joining my heart with yours in gratitude that yes, He is bigger. xoxo

  2. What a great post Tiffany! I think the thing that is most hard for me is the “You might not understand” part of all of this. I’m in the middle of a health crisis right now and I so wish I could understand why this is happening … I know in my heart I need to let that go though, and continue to trust that when God says He will use all things for my good, He truly means it. Thanks for this post! <3 Isn’t it great how truth remains truth no matter how long ago it was published? :) ;)

    1. Lauren – For some reason, your comment is just now making it to me, though it’s dated several weeks ago. My apologies, friend. I pray that your health crisis is waning. I know a whole lot what it looks like to wonder when you are feeling poorly. God does indeed mean it when He says He’ll knit together everything – even the hard things – for our good, but that doesn’t make the hard easy. I’ve found it’s those pressing problems that increase my dependence on Him and widen the borders of my faith. Thank you for visiting, friend.

  3. Oh, yes. Trust God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. You didn’t write the words, but your post very clearly spoke to it. Asking God in what ways I do not trust…make it clear God…I can be dense headed.
    Thankful to read your words today.

    1. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a go to! There can be SO MANY things that we wish we could reason out, but ultimately God has that eternal view. Thankful you were here today, Alecia.

  4. I’m so glad you reposted this, Tiffany. God has given you deep insight and wisdom. It has moved me to tears. I’m so sorry you have ever had to deal with “friendly fire.” That can cut so much deeper when it’s from a place where we thought we were safe. Most of the deep hurts in my life have been from “Christians” and from “friends.” My trust was broken so deeply since my abuser used Scripture and portrayed himself as the voice of God. It has been a long journey, but I am learning God is a safe Refuge and Counselor who only has honorable intentions. He is our Safe Place! I love this! – “There is far-reaching fruit that blossoms from the seeds of pain.” Thank you! Blessings and hugs to you!

    1. Trudy, I see that far reaching fruit in you. The fact that you can testify to the fullness of God’s grace, to the love of your Refuge and Counselor is such a powerful testimony of God’s redemptive power. What was intended for evil, God has used for good. Only in Him!!

  5. What a timely post and filled with truth. Trust God. At the end of the day, He is who we glorify. I hope you have an amazing week. I’m glad to be your neighbor at #onewordcoffee with Bonnie Gray. <3

  6. Words of wisdom, Tiffany, you’ve written words of wisdom. We’re all human, and “it’s” bound to happen, even with folks close. I love how you walk with us to these deep, very real places, shedding light as we traverse. May God be glorified.

    1. Yes, “it” can sneak up on us when we least expect it. But there are no surprises to God and His tender mercies lead us toward growth and closer to His good plans. Thanks for visiting, friend.

  7. I love your thoughts here. Sometimes we just won’t understand what’s going on, but in those times we have to trust that even through the pain and hurt, we can believe that God works something in us for our good and His glory. blessings to you!

    1. Amen, Karen. I love to have information and answers, but freedom comes in trusting and believing that God holds all of it in His hands, and yes – He is working it all into something greater than I can imagine. Thank you for visiting today. Blessings back to you. :)

    1. I’m not prone to re-purpose, Valerie, but I agree with you – there is value in using what we have before us. And if the words meet some in fresh ways, then the glory is Gods. Hour by hour – yes. Sometimes minute by minute, right? No matter the time or distance, trusting God never returns void. Thanks for visiting today – your faithful encouragement is such a blessing.

  8. Well said. I love the scriptures that you have chosen, especially this one: “You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by” (Job 11:16 NIV). Stopping by from #ThreeWordWednesday :)

  9. Tiffany, I’m not in a spot right now where I’ve been hurt by friendly fire, but so much of what you’ve written here also applies when the enemies are in my mind (if that makes any sense). I know what you mean about struggling to lay down fresh words–I’m sort of in that place myself–but I’m glad that God led you to post this gentle wisdom today.

    1. Oh, yes – I hear you Lois – those unseen enemies can be just as dangerous in derailing us. And I’m grateful that you’ve never experiences friendly fire! Sometimes the words just don’t come together as easily as we’d like, and this week reflecting back seemed like the solution. So glad you joined me.

  10. Thanks for sharing so transparently and authentically (sp??? I’m a terrible speller!) here in this post and always in this space on the web, Tiffany. Such a treasure of wisdom in this one little post, especially the part about lavishing forgiveness on those who shot that friendly fire at us, not lingering over bitterness.

  11. Wonderful and marvellous sobeautyful!I love it and it has taught me. A lot thanks and I would want to fly again with you

  12. Amazingly honest and heartfelt post Tiffany. That is the worst kind of pain. The unexpected from someone close a place of “safety” as you stated. We know that the safest place is in God’s arms. We have to be diligent in our daily walk with him. However, the world is a fallen place so those hurts will occur. Like you said.. one key is to not linger in the bitterness. Whether we realize it or not that can grow into something destructive and ruin our Christian testimony. Thank you for this poignant truth that you’ve shared today. A reminder that is definitely needed. Have blessed week!

    1. Such wise words you share, Horace. Yes, bitterness can grow roots and turn into anger and that is a sure foothold for the enemy to not only destroy our faith, but our testimony. Hurt happens – sad, but true. But God is so good that He can use it as fuel to strengthen our faith and dependence on Him. Always so glad when you join the conversation, sir. Blessings upon blessings to you!

  13. Tiffany,
    I feel like we just sat down at a coffee shop, I poured my heart out to you and you gave me a wealth of wisdom and counsel. Every word of this! Thank You!!!! Thank you! Thank You!!!

    1. Oh, friend – that makes my heart glad. Real coffee with you would make it more glad, but this will have to do. If we were together I would wrap my arms around you and tell you that I know what you are walking through is hard, but God loves you and walks beside you. So do I. There is much grace in this healing, and while it may feel far off, God WILL use this for good. You know how to reach me and know I’m here, Leigh. Now drink up before that coffee get cold. ;) xoxo

  14. This is powerful truth my friend! Time with God heals a multitude of hurts. He is always there for us and He knows exactly what we need. Thank you for making a space to experience His healing grace together. Love you!

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