I left the door open.
The past few weeks have been varying degrees of full. Time has been fleeting with no moments that were “free” or “spare”. I’ve chased down the ever expanding to-do list pursuing the next check mark, the oncoming hurdle, laying one day to rest after another just trying to find the finish line.
It’s at this speed, in the state of constant rush, where my mind and my heart suffer a disconnect. It’s when I’m moving forward just to move beyond the next minute that I forget to slow down, to stop. I sacrifice stillness.
I left the door open and the enemy walked in.
The doubt, the fear, the condemnation – my weaknesses – aren’t easily battled when His presence is distant. While His word is written on my heart, it hasn’t been at my fingertips. We’ve spoken, God and I, often even, but we haven’t sat and lingered my heart bowed before His throne.
It’s not a path I’m proud of nor a pattern I put on repeat, but it’s a reality of this season of life. We all fall prey. Busyness strikes and while God is first in our lives, He gets buried by the demands and needs of others.
But the busyness grows barren. All the accomplishments are tinged by emptiness.
And the enemy loves to whisper that I’ve failed. That I’m not good enough. That there isn’t any point in picking up where I left off. That I’m a poor example of a woman of faith – a preacher without the practice. That the spinning spiral of guilt and weight are permanent, that the burden cannot be eased.
But my heart, it knows better – it longs for Him. It craves Living Water and finds rest in the promise that I am His. Still. Now. Forever.
“Open my eyes so I can see what You show me of Your miracle-wonders…my soul is starved and hungry, ravenous, insatiable for Your nourishing commands…yes, Your sayings on life are what give me delight.” Psalm 119:18, 20, 24 MSG
Although I wander my heart never forgets. It is tethered to Him and ours is a bond that cannot be broken by unrealistic expectations and unreachable standards. Time and distance may weary the threads, but they hold fast. They remain.
God knows me and He shouts over the lies the enemy sells and reminds me that He is with me. That I know His voice. That there is grace.
God’s door is always open. To me. To you.
He swings it wide and invites us in, to pick up where we left off, to speak life, to quench the hunger that only He can satisfy. With open arms He waits beyond the threshold ready to hold us close once more.
God’s door is always open and today, I’m walking through.
*This post is part of the Five Minute Friday link-up. This incredible community of writers participate in a weekly five-minute-free-write. It is purposed to be unedited – but my Type A personality binds me to a quick refinement and spell check. Most importantly it’s an opportunity to pour our hearts on the page over one pre-selected word prompt. This weeks word is: open. To learn more about this free write challenge, visit Kate and the crew over here.